Tax Truth: The Hardcore Urban Edition (Strong Language)

The views expressed in this piece are my own and should not reflect on other progressives, democrats, independents, liberals, or any other civil, sane and honest person.  Even if they all agree with me, it would probably be very unwise to stand with me publicly on this thing.  For the most part, these are polite people- but I’m the guy they would send over to break thumbs or knee-caps when necessary to get the job done.  And Mitch McConnell is really asking for it right now.


Here is the deal:  I don’t hate Republicans in Congress because of what they believe.  I hate Republicans in Congress because they lie about what they believe and they do it very effectively.  They are the worst kind of liars because they lie with the indignation and conviction of the last honest man on earth.  Perhaps my use of the term “hate” may seem out of place in a political essay unless the writer is calling out others for fomenting hate in our politics.  But this is a space of stark honesty and I refuse to pretend that I don’t hate these people right now.  I don’t want to kill them with a baseball bat or anything or cut their tongues out of their mouths for lying so flagrantly but I have such contempt for their artifice that I am finding it hard to see a path forward for our politics that doesn’t take us through Armagedon first.


This tax cut was the last straw because it is going to be a bitch for the country to work its way out of this mess even if we successfully voted all of their asses out of office in ’18 and ’20.  There would be unintended consequences to just passing a wholesale repeal of the tax cut because contrary to popular political folklore, steering the world’s largest economy is not like steering a speed-boat, its like steering an air-craft carrier.  You just can’t jerk back and forth without compromising the whole ship.  That’s why it is so stupid for Trump’s people to be running around trying to take credit for the economic growth we are experiencing right now when the entire economy was on an aggressive upswing when he waddled his fat dumpy ass in the door thanks to the steady and sober stewardship of President Obama.  Thanks again, #44.


Here’s lie #1 they are pushing:  This is a middle class tax cut.  Bullshit.  According to Ezra Klein at Vox, 83% of the benefit of this tax cut is going to the top 1% of the wealthiest Americans.  And a significant portion of the remaining 17% will get swallowed up by increased health insurance premiums when the insurance markets go nuts from the individual mandate being killed.  They know this damned well but they keep telling this scurrilous lie over and over and over.  Plus there’s the little matter of the middle class cut only being good for seven years while the rich folks tax cut is FOREVER.  If that doesn’t tell you who this was done for then you are dumb enough to deserve whatever happens to you at the hand of that wealthy 1%.  Here’s a hint: start buying Vaseline in bulk.

Here’s lie #2 they are pushing: Economic growth will pay for this tax cut and so there will be no deficit damage.  Bullshit.  The treasury is taking a hit that is either $1.5 TRILLION DOLLARS, $1 TRILLION DOLLARS, or at best $550 BILLION DOLLARS depending on which think tank you believe. There is absolutely no mathematician or economist or policy analyst anywhere outside of Trump Tower that would lend their name or any credence to that bullshit assertion because in the entire history of America, a tax cut structured like this has NEVER paid for itself with revenue growth.  ABSOLUTELY NEVER.  All of the Senators and Congressmen out there saying it will are lying- and they know they are lying but they just keep on lying because what in the hell else are they supposed to do at this point?


This crippling debt is being handed to a bunch of Americans that haven’t even been born yet.  What kind of demented sh*t is that?  How can you NOT hate somebody who would do that on purpose?

Even though there are many more lies, these are the two that they have settled on for their long-term sales-pitch for the upcoming midterms.  Not too complicated and fairly easy to refute, right?  Especially if reporters will just follow Joy Reid’s advice and ask every single Republican on Capitol Hill exactly how this tax bill is going to benefit them personally and then keep asking until they’ve given their bullshit spin 7 or 8 times.   It would be hard for the late great Gregory Hines to tap dance around that one so you know these left-footed white-bread douche-bags are going to look pretty awkward trying to stay on rhythm when the beat speeds up.

Here is the truth about what Republicans think but lack the fortitude, character or intellect to articulate:  The wealthiest Americans pay a disproportionate amount of their taxable income into the government coffers as compared to middle-income Americans.

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The taxes they pay are a large part of the revenue required to fund our entitlement programs: medicare, Medicaid and social security.   These are programs that the wealthiest Americans are highly unlikely to ever depend upon themselves.  They think it’s not fair, they resent it and they don’t want to do it anymore.

They don’t mind paying for building and sustaining the military and law enforcement because who in the hell else is going to protect their gated palaces and compounds from hoards of invaders and marauders climbing over their walls in the middle of the night?  Reasonable people can understand that even if they disagree.  It is the core of your belief system and how you want to be taxed.  SO MAN UP AND JUST SAY THAT.


That is not a crazy argument.  It is short-sighted, selfish and piss-poor citizenship but that doesn’t make it entirely unreasonable.   Republicans should just come correct and stop bullshitting the rest of us by trying to make us believe that they did this tax cut to help us.  Get the f*ck out of here.  Republicans gave the middle class a teaspoon of sugar to make the nasty medicine go down, but the wealthy got all sugar.

And that’s that.  At least I can tell you why I hate your lying asses.  If y’all stop lying we can be cool.  Good luck getting such a cogent explanation and coherent solution from those Charlotesville assholes marching around chanting “JEWS WILL NOT REPLACE US!”  Now THAT’S hate you can’t do a damned thing with.

∞ π

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