Meet Louise Linton, THE NEW MISS PIGGY. Well Actually, THIS is Louise Linton in her human form:
She is married to Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, appointed by President P*ssy Grabber. Since these are two men who figure prominently in her life, she’s already got two big strikes against her. But I need to make the record clear on one issue up front: I do not harbor any ill-will against rich people as a group. For the most part, they are like everybody else- there are rich people that are cool and there are rich people that are absolute assholes. The married couple featured in this piece happens to fit very neatly into the latter category and could never even be let into the back door of the former.
Steve Mnuchin and his wife Louise Linton are such big assholes that your computer screen starts to stink whenever you type their name or look at their pictures. I’ve been spraying my office all day while writing this piece and I may have to break out the incense tonight before anybody drops by.
Seriously, Steve and Louise completely suck as human beings BUT we do owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to them. Our gratitude is more specifically targeted to Louise than to Steve because Louise is the one who has shown a propensity for acting like a horses ass and exposing to the entire world a truth that many people have been trying to deliver for years: you can have goo-gobs of money, gallons of fame and mega-grams of access and still be a pig. A well washed and well dressed pig, but a pig just the same.
Of course you can be a cute pig; a pig that walks upright on two legs just like Miss Piggy here. But make no mistake about it a pig is still a pig. I am pretty sure that this description and depiction of a woman is going to offend some folks. And I’m pretty sure I don’t give a damn Her conduct and blithe disposition is a thousand times worse considering that her husband influences economic policy for the entire country. The shot of them posing with the newly minted $1 bills bearing Steve’s signature pretty much says it all.
Just so we are clear, The Progressive Express is NOT a platform that promotes hatred of wealth or contempt for the wealthy. Money is a good thing and having a lot of it can be very helpful. But as a personality trait wealth worship is a deal-breaking non-starter for connecting with me.
But that is on the passive side. On the aggressive side, I harbor a searing hostility for wealth gained off of the misery of others and that is where Steve comes in. So if a guy made money dealing or trafficking drugs, he is unsafe in my presence. And its a pretty safe bet that if you open your mouth to me you will wind up missing some teeth or needing surgery to remove my size thirteen from your ass. Likewise if you made your money swindling people out of their pensions or gaming a corrupt financial system you should probably steer clear of me or any dude like me. An ass-kicking is probably cooking in the kitchen and coming right up.
That preamble was for you Steve Mnuchin. Because we all know that you learned the investment game from your mother, who made millions of dollars helping Bernie Madoff ass-rape nearly everybody he ever met on his way to becoming a billionaire- on his way to becoming a convicted felon. And just like your mother, you figured that ass-raping people out of their money was a pretty good racket so you took your talents to Goldman Sachs (where else?)- so you could be one of the precious few people to actually profit off of the great recession as you foreclosed the sh*t out of almost 40% of the reverse mortgages originated in this country.
That’s right, Steve, I know you are a piece of sh*t no matter what you are wearing, driving or where you are living. You could have a vacation home that orbits the earth and I’ll tell your momma you ain’t sh*t.
So your choice the NEW Miss Piggy as your bride makes perfect sense. A woman so worshipful of designer clothes, bags, shoes, and jewelry that she was dumb enough to tag all of that sh*t on her social media posting while accompanying you to Kentucky on official government business. She looks like a goddamned fool and she made you look like one too.
Because it wasn’t enough that she shouted out all of these designers (who will NOT get a shout out in this space) but then decided to insult and denigrate the lives of other women who pointed out the gross misjudgment reflected by her gross self-promotion and publicity seeking. And since you were in Kentucky which is one of the poorest states in the union, it was just stupid as hell.
That bullsh*t apology she issued through her publicist is as worthless as those straight to dvd movies she’s been in. It would make sense for you both to just steer clear of cameras as much as you can.
As it is, the whole world now knows the pig that she is and the jackass that you are for winding up with an embarrassing woman like her. A guy with lots of money tends to have lots of options in that department- so they don’t have to wind up like you did. The next time she wants to talk sh*t to somebody in social media and put their life down, just remind her that she is an “E” list actress (that’s right, she sucks so bad at acting that she has to be jealous of those on the “D” list) and that she is only known or seen anywhere because you married her. She doesn’t need to shine anymore light on you, Steve. You and all of your rancid wealth should stay in the shadows as much as you can. Darkness is your friend so tell Miss Piggy to keep you out of the light.